Watch This Space

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” – Viktor Frankl

I’m definitely in this space. There has been a stimulus. A stimulus that requires major life change. Again. It’s what I’ve wanted and prayed for and now it’s here. And – not going to lie – kind of freaking out. Not because it’s change, but because it’s change that has to happen in the next THREE WEEKS.

I realize this is one of those annoying cryptic posts that I also hate, but the thing is, I use this spot to process and I don’t have THAT many readers, so I’m ok putting it here and just asking those of you who do read this to pray. I would say more but since nothing is “official” I can’t.

I’m scared, excited, anxious, eager, freaked out, and ready. Life as a single person is difficult. It’s not more or less difficult than those of you who are married and have families. It’s just different difficult. I personally love it, but in moments like this it’s a mixed bag. On the one hand, I know that if this ends up being a giant mistake, I’m not dragging anyone else into my crazy. On the other hand, I’m it. I’m what I have and I know that the stakes are high.

I have never been more aware of this importance of this space between stimulus & response. I know that there are reasons enough to maintain the status quo, but I also know that deciding to stay where I am would be a decision made out of fear and life is too short to make decisions based on fear. There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. I will not let fear commandeer the driver’s seat. That’s the easy way, but the easy way is so tempting. The hard way pushes me forward. I’m crystal clear on what I’ll be losing but have only a fuzzy idea of what I’m gaining and that’s enough to make anyone want to stay put. But that’s not how great things happen.

I’ve made a highway for God. I’ve said to God, I think my life is there, not here. I think I feel like I’m ready for the next thing. I know what I want my career to be and to get there, things have to change. God has responded by opening doors – how can I not go through them? I’m just acknowledging that it’s nerve-wracking. But I’m doing it. Challenge accepted.

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