Wasted

I woke up tired and grumpy. I felt great after yoga last night, but that great feeling has evaporated. I laid around, got ready for work and made it here on time, but not excited. I got to work and was immediately bombarded with questions, demands, requests. No time to check in, no time to check up and check email and see what’s going on. Tyranny of the urgent rearing its tyrannical head.

I’m officially burnt. I know there’s a place in here that loves my job but I’m not feeling it at all. I worked so hard this holiday season and my only feedback was “not enough, not enough” and it’s tapped me out. I’ve had the necessary conversations and that has been acknowledged & remedied, but the damage is done and I haven’t had time and space to recover. Oh, yes, the things I did wrong were fully highlighted, front-and-center. I made two mistakes. Two. And I heard about them loud and clear. The successes? Not a word.

I’m ready for something new. I need an adult, desk, cube farm job. I want to celebrate holidays on the actual holiday. I want to have weekends off. I want to love my job again. Maybe after my Janu-Christmas mini-break, some of that will return. I don’t have the ability to see past today right now.

Tomorrow, the spa. Perhaps I will experience a short burst of renewal that will carry me through the next 9 days.

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